In honour of our precious little ones who we never had the pleasure of meeting…
‘My Name’ by George Canyon.
This is a powerful song. While it depicts a stillbirth rather than a miscarriage, it does hit close to home as my wife and I have three little ones whom we never had the privilege of welcoming into this world. These experiences have been devastating. Very painful. And God has been present throughout.
When I reflect on ‘My Name’ in light of our experience the following line spoken from the perspective of the baby really sticks out to me: “This love is my only emotion, haven’t learned any fear any pain”.
I don’t fully understand why our babies didn’t make it. But I find great peace in the reality that all they have ever known is love. The love of a mother’s womb. The love of a Heavenly Father as they were welcomed into His eternal Kingdom. They did not need to experience the brokeness and pain of this world. They will never know what it is like to feel rejection or illness. Rather they are experiencing the fullness of beauty, truth and goodness in the presence of Father God.
This does not mean that there has been no grief for us. There certainly has been sorrow. But there is hope in the midst of that pain. A hope made possible by Jesus who says the last word belongs to life rather than death. We entrust our gone-too-soon children to a our Heavenly Father who is a good king and friend. They are precious. They are loved. And they are not forgotten.
May you find hope in this song. Perhaps it will help you as you continue to grieve. Perhaps it will expose you to the pain experienced by so many. We remember and we trust.
As we grieved our lost little ones, I was shocked to learn how widespread miscarriages are. I had no idea. While it is true that grieving ought to be personal and private, I think that we are poorer for the lack of openness around the topic of miscarriage. Why should so many cry in silence, not knowing and being strengthened by the similar stories of their family and friends? Stay tuned for my next post which will share a few bits of advice from our own experience of this. I will share what was helpful for us in dealing with this tragedy. I will also share a few ideas for how we can respect and care for others who have walked through miscarriage or infertility.
Anyhow, here are the lyrics.
It’s cold in here feels like everything’s upside down
I can feel you talking but I can barely make out the sound
I been kicking around these parts, feels like a year
I’m gonna change this world if I ever get out of here
She wants to dress me in pink, paint’s my bedroom blue
And I just laugh to myself, cause only I know the truth
This love is my only emotion
Haven’t learned any fear any pain
It’s kind of funny with all this commotion
I guess they’ve got me, to blame
They don’t even know my name
They don’t even know my name
Well I’ve never felt so ready, think it’s finally time
Cause that big old world is waiting, and it’s mine all mine
Just then everything got real quiet, it got real bright
And a man took my hand said don’t worry, Mommas gonna be alright
Then he opened the gate, & I followed him in
Said you can wait right, here till it’s your turn again
And his love is the one true emotion
Heaven knows no fear no pain
I never got to set my wheels in motion
They loved me just the same
And they didn’t even know my name
Didn’t even know my name
You loved me just the same
And you didn’t even know my name
As usual, feel free to post a comment. What are your thoughts?